Aaaaarrrrgh!!!!!! Who wanted this darn dog anyway? I know it wasn't me antsy with a craving for man's best friend. I mean really, I already have a best friend, and she doesn't mess up my house or make me pick up her !@#*!#  The way I see this going down is, man gets a friend and I get more stuff to do! What was I thinking? Even when I agreed to this insane idea, I knew who'd be feeding it, walking it, vacuuming the hair off EVERYTHING. Okay, I didn't know that, or if I suspected it, I seriously under-estimated how much hair a smooth-coated, short-haired dog could shed! Technically, he should be bald given how much is imbedded in the cushions and carpets and on my winter coat and wool pants and poking out between the keys of my laptop - I'm talking, EVERYWHERE! And don't get me started about the frequency and volume of the piles in the backyard. Or the smell, because of course this dog likes to help himself to the freshly baked cookies, eggs, with or without the shells, garbage, used kleenexs, chocolates, packs of gum - I know, chocolate and something in gum is very bad for dogs, fatal even, but NO, not ours - He's still alive, raiding at every opportunity. At least kids eventually out grow diapers, but dog crap - THAT'S FOREVER!!!!!! And of course, with each trip outside to make his mark in the yard, there are footprints in the house marking his return!!!! And the drooling and the water that pours out of his loose-lipped jowels when he drinks! And the stalking, what's with that? If this is man's best friend, then how come he follows me everywhere? Maybe some would find it flattering, but it's just creepy. I can't move without him at my heels. Yikes! Who wanted this dog anyway?!!!