As you may or may not know I have four kids, work with the Pix here, work part-time on an accounting project for a friend's biz, along with some personal coaching on the side. I'm also the main cook, maid, chauffeur, errand grunt, repair and maintenance go-to, makeshift designer/decorator, along with soundboard, shoulder and comforter. In a class I took last fall, one woman referred to me as super-woman. It's a crock. I'm just super-tired; super-crazy and it shows. Just ask the dog.

The problem is I bought, hook, line and sinker, the ideology of the 80's that women can do it all. Family, work, and change the world - why not? - we are women, hear us roar! What might have started out as an empowered roar has since mutated to a grumble, than outright wimpering. When I burnt out, broke down from the pressure, I thought it was me, so I dug deeper and tried harder. Temporarily my roar deepened, but it was less victory and more frustration. Just ask the dog.

I've looked at this 'do it all' dilemma from every angle until my head was ready to explode. I weighed in on a round of discussions about a 'four burner theory' @Chris Guillebeau and @communicatrix that says in order to experience success you have to turn down, or off, at least one, more likely two of the burners (representing family, health, work, friends) My conclusion was you need to plug into a major power source rather than depend solely on your own resources to pull this off, or risk blowing a fuse. I drew this nugget from personal experience. I was shocked to see how many people saw the solution as a balancing act, juggling or outright ignoring all but one of the 4 elements of a full life. Others said doing it all was indeed possible, if you were okay with luke-warm results in all areas. This was disappointing. The doing it all I bought into, was about ROCKING IT, not settling.

Then today I experienced a thought-switch from Marie Forleo. It's simple. It's mind-blowing (Of course if you are one of the enlightened beings, you already know this. Have compassion for the rest of us.) Here it is:

******************YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL***************************

***********BUT YOU DON"T HAVE TO DO IT ALL*****************

I know I should have seen this way before now. Crap, I know a lot of people who have it all but aren't doing it all. But the wisdom wasn't registering because, well, these guys all had wives. And in my worldview, the wives were doing it all. Getting a wife seemed like a cheat.

What do you all think? 

Have it all by letting other people help you, do it all.

Or as Marie so delicately puts it, "Get off your A** and Get Support"

Sounds like great advice.