First, take a deep breath, count to 20 and then remember all the time, energy and love you've invested in your beautiful daughter. Chances are if her momma cares this much and is aware of the dynamics at play, she is a very lucky girl. You've already given her a great foundation and for those times when you aren't with her, remember she has you in her head and heart. As for all the other people who might not have her best interest at heart, try to remember there is more good out there than bad. We just don't hear as much about it because, well, it just doesn't make for sensational, fear-provoking discussion.

You needn't be a bundle of neurosis or a crazed Mom and for those days when you feel that way remember you've both made it this far! Everything is going to be okay. Keep your eyes and ears open and although we are tasked with the challenge of 'letting go' from the moment we first lay eyes on our children, don't let her get too far away just yet. 

I always think of all the fuss that is made over the baby stage and how much energy is spent researching and debating the pros and cons of being a working or stay-at-home mom during those early childhood years. And then surprisingly when our children hit the stage where they are physically as big or bigger than us there is this sense that they don't need us anymore. I remember one very wise friend who'd said to me how she decided to work more when her kids were younger because she wanted to have more flexibility in her career by the time her children were teens so that she would be available for this stage when emotionally, our kids are on a roller-coaster without a seatbelt. At the time I thought how wise that was and now that I'm entering this stage, it makes a lot of sense. The baby stage is physically taxing, the toddler stage an energy challenge, but the teen years are mentally and emotionally something else! I think it has to do with us as much as it does with them. This stage hits like a prairie storm - you can never be quite prepared - and there is no telling how long it will last or how much chaos it will bring. But more than that, I think it forces us to come face to face with our own fears and insecurites and the expectations we hold for our children and how we want their lifes to unfold. It challenges us to keep in check our own issues and remember their experiences are unique, at least to them. I think the mom above is right, 'buckle up!' This isn't the time to be taking your eyes off the road - this section can be very steep and twisty and there are a lot of other crazy drivers on this stretch to watch out for! When I look around it's a wonder anyone makes it through this bit at all, but I bet in hindsight it looks like a blip, not unlike the diaper stage or the tantrums or the separation tears (ours and theirs!) and once we've slid past this stage there will be another on the horizon to challenge us again in a whole new way!

All I can say is thank goodness we have each other - knowing there is someone else who gets it!

I think every time we see another mom in a store or on a playground, or daycare or waiting outside the principal's office we need to give them a wink - kind of a universal signal that whatever their dealing with right then, we're sending them support because whether we've been there yet or not, if we are a mom we'll be in her shoes in one way or another at some point on our journey and when we do, getting a wink of support could make all the difference!